The popular girls

The popular girls' eye rolls can slice you like a cold blade. Their smiles send you soaring to amazing heights. Be in with them and you rule the world. Be outside their realm of pleasure and you want to die.

How do some girls achieve the status of popular and others don't?

Is it about survival of the fittest? Are the popular girls descended from the really hot cave women who got the best guys and then these girls went on to run the gene pool?

I mean from a purely analytical POV they are not prettier than the other girls. Often they're not richer. Nor are they smarter or funnier or braver. Yet, they are popular. Why? And they exist in every age, don't they? I dealt with them, my mother dealt with them and now poor Finn is having to deal with them.

But he is the "artist." He thinks too far outside the box so I don't see "popular" as his realm.

So how to help?

I can offer up the "well, just ignore them," but really? That never works; it's like saying don't think about an elephant, of course you'll think of an elephant. If I tell him to try to break a hole in the wall of their inner sanctum he will just hate himself cause he'll have to be something he's not. And that would be awful. He's wonderful. He is water.

They are oil.

And both are necessary for the world to spin.

So he must be who he is. And love that. And maybe if he learns to love himself, then not being popular won't matter. When self esteem rolls in, every other doubt steps aside doesn't it?

"Their" opinion will always matter, but "they" will change as he gets older and "they" will vary depending on where he is. And so to try to fit in with the popular crowd is never ending. He'll never achieve popularity cause the popular kid changes.

Better to just be popular with himself.